Natalie Franke
I don’t know who this is for. But if you’re an independent business owner that is in need of some encouragement and wants to feel your soul set on fire then this episode is a must listen because let me tell you something right now. Mattie James is the real deal. She is the lifestyle expert and author behind the Mattie James company and best selling book everyday magic. After being crowned Miss Liberia USA in 2009. Mattie started blogging as a hobby and grew it into a seven figure business that many of you know today. As a lifestyle expert and entrepreneur with over 13 years of experience Mattie has been featured on Good Morning America, in essence, Forbes, Business Insider, NBC cosmopolitan I could keep going on and on and on and on. But let me tell you this. Mattie is someone who walks the walk, she has had phenomenal business success, she is a mom to some extraordinary little kids. She juggles so many things all at once. And in the chaos of day to day has found ways to not only see magic, and experience it, but also fuel it within herself. We’re going to talk today about how she wrote her book and what it means to create everyday magic and how ultimately we can own our own magic as business owners. This is the episode that is going to let your soul on fire and get you fist bumping the sky because Mattie James, my friends, is an extraordinary, extraordinary human being. Hey, everyone, this is your host, Natalie Franke, and you’re listening to the independent business podcast, more people than ever are working for themselves and building profitable businesses in the process. So on this show, I sit down with some of the most influential authors, entrepreneurs and creators to break down the science of self made success so that you can achieve victory.
Natalie Franke
Hey, Mattie, thank you so much for joining me today.
Mattie James
Thank you so much for having me, Natalie. I’m excited to be here.
Natalie Franke
We were talking before we hopped on about when I was setting up for this interview and doing my additional research. I didn’t even know where to take this conversation. I was like, this woman is extraordinary, incredible business owner, mother, friend, leader. I get like, just on and on and on and all the things that you’ve done in your career. And so I want to just start there with your journey, like the journey that led you to where you are today. If you’re willing to kind of give us a peek behind the curtain. Let us know how did you get here? And how did you get to the point where you wrote your book everyday magic?
Mattie James
Yeah, it’s That’s so kind because my husband and I were talking about that today. We had a tickle a road trip this morning heading back home. And we were talking about that because I think that is both the the gift and the curse, right? When you can do a lot of things he’s done. It is still important to decide what a focus is in a particular season. And I think that’s the season I am certainly and it’s like, Okay, I’ve done all these things. And all of these things, meaning I started out I went to school for broadcast journalism. The funny joke, well, not a joke, because it’s a truth. The funny truth is, is that I’m the only one on my team who does not have a college degree. I’m the only one who didn’t finish school. I left school early, I thought I was going to become a pop star. I moved to New York City. I’m first American generation in a West African family where my family’s from Liberia. And let me just be clear that my West African father was not entertained that I decided to leave college to go become a singer. Spoiler, I don’t become a singer. You know, I don’t land that super amazing album deal or record deal that I thought I was going to land. I do audition for American Idol. I don’t make it. I auditioned for making the band, you know, uh, don’t make it. And I lived in New York for a year but it really what I think New York was for me was it taught me work ethic. Because it was the first time I wasn’t in the bubble of my parents, you know what I mean? I didn’t have that safety net. And I you know, grew up the way I grew up, I was really always like, we were always the token black family and all white environment. So I also think it exposed me to so much culture, you know, and I mean, not even just black and white. I mean, you know, Jewish, you know, Asian, Puerto Rican Dominican, I, you know, all the things so I think that was just such a really good education for me, even though it wasn’t quote unquote, college. Fast forward after like, 2006 I left school well, not school, I left New York. I moved here to Atlanta because my maternal grandfather had fallen ill and I’m so glad I did because I ended up spending that last year of his life here, and then I just started working retail which I would not wish on my worst enemy. The hours are not awesome, but I learned a lot about sales. And it’s, you know, when you look back, it’s easy now to see what certain points of your life were for. Because I definitely know for a fact that working in retail taught me the art of sales. And I did that for about I got maybe like three years. And my I still had this dream, though, of being a host or journalist or whatnot. So I ended up I meet Chris, you know, who was my boyfriend, then fiance now husband, we get engaged or whatnot. I am like, I kind of have like a little moment where I’m like, I want to start my life as a woman as a wife, you know, working retail. So, so I left retail, became an intern, and started working for a radio station. And at the time, it was the largest sports radio station in Atlanta. I was a marketing intern there and I was the first person to start their street team or whatnot. And it was really great. From that internship, I actually made a connection, I actually had real impressed the VP of the radio station. He then actually connected me to a friend of his who ran marketing for Brown Forman, the makers of Jack Daniels and I ended up getting a more another marketing opportunity and internship there. While I was there, I won Miss Liberia, USA, and then six weeks later, I got married. So it was a lot going on. But it was 2009 and I don’t know if anybody remembers 2009. But the market had completely just the bottom fell out there was just like nothing happening wasn’t the best time to like figure out your life. But you know, I was just rolling with the punches, we got married, bought a house. And eventually I did have to go get a real job, you know, a nine to five. And so I did wasn’t in retail anymore. But I was a showroom manager for a home decor company for about three and a half years, which also taught me so much of what I do now. It really did teach me about merchandising really did teach me about marketing. I definitely used a lot of the things i i learned from retail and just even learned in New York City just kind of hustling and bustling, and then I got let go from that job. Almost four years later, they did a lot of changes. And then since then, that was in 2015. I have been a full time creator and entrepreneur. And so essentially now I run the Mati Jas company, which essentially houses all of like my social media and Mattie james.com. And I also run boss fluence, which is a professional organization that teaches creators influencer marketing and how to create a profitable business. That was the Cliff Notes version. But maybe I’ll write the book one day where I’m like, there’s a lot in between
Natalie Franke
there, there is so much to unpack from that. I mean, one of the biggest things that just stands out is your ability to find and I’m going to use some of your beloved words here. Find the magic, yeah, each season of your life. And you know, whether it was college or making that brave and bold decision to pursue your dreams and your passions, when that didn’t turn out the way maybe you had hoped. You didn’t ever let that stop you, you kept going into the next thing and the next thing and it almost as if like as even hearing you retell it. It’s incredible because I could hear a different version, through someone’s mind that didn’t see the magic. Like if someone else were to tell that story. It wouldn’t, it wouldn’t have maintained kind of that that magic and those learnings from season to season to season. Because you haven’t once like even in you know, college, you took this bold leap, becoming a pop star. It didn’t work out. But it was never a failure. It was a launchpad. Right, it was a launchpad into something else. It was a launchpad for every business owner listening to this right now, I think you’re hearing what success truly can look like. Right? What you’re hearing is, as you move through your life, and you’re defining success, and Mattie continues to define success and push boundaries, and like you’re just getting started, I know you are just getting started. Right? We have the ability to reframe our relationship with our own journey and with failure. And so kind of leading into this idea of everyday magic. You know, what does that even mean? What does it mean to create everyday magic?
Mattie James
Yeah, it’s so interesting, because I guess I did stop. I stopped at 2015 When I went full time and then, you know, really learned the ins and outs of influencer marketing. And what was very interesting was in 2015, our first daughter Mesa was nine months when I got Lego for my job. And so what has happened throughout my career as a creator is that my family has grown, you know what I mean? And we moved from our first home to our second home. So what was happening is that as I was growing in business, I was also growing in life. And I think that is such a really delicate journey to balance because I think that This is happening for so many of us. And it was really hard. And it was really hard because I treated it like it was a performance instead of being present and the reality of what it was. And so eventually, in 2016, that led to my husband and I getting separated. I talked about this in the book, and that was really hard. Spoiler, we’re still married, we’re doing it much better shout out to therapy and shout out to to God. And it was really important to me to do life differently after going through that, because I wanted my daughter to experience a way better version of not only me, but her parents after going through that, and she was so young when that happened. So I think we were able to kind of rectify any kind of collateral damage. But I think what I learned is that, instead of trying to make things perfect, instead of trying to make things, a spectacle for the sense of getting credit, I really had to create something that encouraged me to get up every day and do the work. And that’s what everyday magic is. It’s basically a LiFE framework where you make every day meaningful, aesthetically pleasing, goal oriented, intentional and consistent. And when I realized that any time I make life, one of those things, I am so deeply full. And so it’s like so why don’t I just make this a habit? Why don’t I make this like a foundation of how I approach life. And what it does is one, it’s so personal. So you Natalie’s you know, magic is not going to look like Mattie’s magic, you know, and I mean, Lisa’s magic isn’t going to look like Tom’s magic, it’s just going to be completely different. And that’s why it matters, right? Because each and every single one of us has something that matters to us. That’s why it’s meaningful. Everybody deems something specifically beautiful to them. And that matters. And it’s funny, because when I read the reviews of the book, which have just been so again, encouraging, I know I use that term a lot. But I truly know that that’s my gifting, like I was put on this earth to encourage others. And so for it to be encouraging to me, it’s just so fulfilling. But it was interesting. So many people were surprised that aesthetics were part of that framework, right? I think we all talk about intention, I definitely talk about consistency a lot. We all know that we need to set goals. But the reason why aesthetics was so important was because aesthetics is about creating safety. When we deem something aesthetically pleasing, we all feel more safe, right? When you walk into a spa and you hear soothing sounds, you feel safe at that spot when you’re traveling and you walk into a hotel that is visually aesthetically pleasing to you guess what? You feel safe in that hotel. So when I say aesthetics, yes, I do mean the literal sense, but not in the sense of being aimlessly materialistic, but certainly in the sense of creating safety and personalized safety at that. And I think sometimes we completely underestimate how important that is, especially in our everyday lives.
Natalie Franke
I couldn’t agree more. I absolutely couldn’t agree more as someone who’s neurodivergent with ADHD and has struggled with that, for a lot of my life, something as simple as clutter to somebody else wouldn’t bother them. To me, it becomes such a catalyst for an inability for me to do anything else, I have such a difficult time working in a space where it’s cluttered, or I haven’t taken the time to organize or clean. And if you lean into the science of this, because we do like to do that around here. There’s also some really interesting research around things like clutter and the impact that working in a space is cluttered can have on you and also even something like you know bright light, working in a space with light high ceilings, increase your creativity, I will link that in the show notes. So So being intentional about you know where you’re working if you can, and if you’re you I work in my bedroom every day, but I open all the blinds, right? I try to cultivate that aesthetic space where I feel safe to create safe to dream. And so it doesn’t have to be a Pinterest board right looking looking space. No, it’s about taking control over what you can right and using what you have to create a space that you love to be in and to see the person you’re becoming right in in the aesthetics of that space. Which is so inspiring and I love I love the a of the MA GIC.
Mattie James
Yes, the alien magic is important. You know what I mean? All of its important but the A is really important. And to your point when I was doing research for the book, and I think I elaborate on this in the making your space magic chapter I talk about how clutter you know what I mean for everyone, you know, literally He creates micro trauma, right? So when you’re trying to function in a space that has clutter, right? It literally is, like, traumatizing you and like, I think sometimes like, we are annoyed. And we think like, it’s just us being annoyed. And it’s like, no, no, no, you’re actually, like you’re actually getting emotionally traumatized, because you have something that is out of order. And the the example I love to give is that when you go to a public bathroom, when you see a sign that says out of order, what does it mean that it doesn’t work. And so anytime you are in a space that has clutter, and it is literally out of order, you are in a space that actually technically is not working. And when you are in a space, trying to do any kind of work, whether it’s domestic or professional, or creative, and you’re trying to function in something that doesn’t work, you’re trying to function and confusion. And I mean, that’s literally hustling backwards. And so for me, it’s important for us to understand that these details in the magic are not things that we are, you know, they’re they’re big deals, and we should approach them as such, you know what I mean? If something matters to you really understand why that matters, and figure out how you can create a little bit of it every single day, or at least on a weekly if not monthly basis. Same thing with aesthetics, you know what I mean? Same thing with your goals, you know, I’m like, it’s impossible to score without a goal. And we have to do things intentionally. And my favorite thing to say about intention is that it doesn’t have to be deep, it just has to be deliberate. You just have to do something on purpose, we are all vehicles of purpose. And last but not least, if you’re not doing it consistently, then it really shows whether or not you are committed to it. And the thing I love to over emphasize to everybody is that you are the magic, the thing that you’re saying is meaningful is magic, because you are the person who literally justifies it, right? You justify why something’s meaningful, you justify why it’s aesthetically pleasing, why it’s goal oriented, intentional or consistent. So you are the magic. And so understanding that and having that mindset, and anything you do, and I always think it has to start at home and with life first because I always tell people, if you cannot handle home, baby, you’re not gonna be able to handle business. And we just have to, we just have to do things in order we just talked about when it’s out of order is not going to work.
Natalie Franke
I tell you dropped so many mics, there are no mics left Mattie, like I say, what do we what do we even say from there, I mean, my gosh, you’re 100% right on every single front. And it also makes me even think down. Like as you were talking about aesthetics, you’re talking about clutter, I’m thinking about how we run our businesses, and all the work that I do day in and day out, you know, with client flow and with honey book. And it matters like having a streamlined process, having clear objectives, feeling that momentum of your life moving and not getting stuck, right not feeling friction, not having too many things all surrounding you where you are overwhelmed. And all of this plays into how we can show up and then use our magic to make an impact in the world, which all of us have an opportunity to do every single human being every one of you listening to this, you have so much potential to impact so many people. And so one question I would have is, you know, what would your message be to somebody that maybe doesn’t feel that they can own their own magic? Like maybe somebody that feels like, well, this, this is great for other people, but like, what about me, like what do I have to offer? What would you what would you say to them?
Mattie James
That’s such a great question. It really is about stopping and allowing yourself to be still and either revisiting or even visiting for the first time. What your why is why are you doing anything that you are doing? Right? Does it always starts with purpose, your purpose is your why? And again, it doesn’t have to be deep, it just has to be deliberate, but it’s also okay, if it’s deep, you know, for me, I started boss fluence, and we just had to talk about this because I’m like, already have such a very active and busy personal brand that I didn’t really have a reason to start boss looms as an organization. But when I first started blogging and creating in 2009, I was often always the only black creator in a campaign I was like, you know, one if not two. And after a while, it definitely gets old being the only and especially growing up like that. I have had a lot of experience. And for me, I really wanted to create an organization where black creators could come in and learn the ins and outs can get taught, you know what I mean? Could be provided resources and experiences with like minded people where they didn’t feel like the only and that they could also be taken seriously. That’s my why. You know what I mean? And that’s my Y is completely okay, your Y is completely okay. A, but it’s gonna be hard to maximize your magic to literally fully just reach the highest peak of your potential when you don’t have an understanding. And a lot of times we’re so busy trying to have an agreement with what society thinks we should be, instead of individual and personal lies understanding that we miss out on the magic not because we’re stupid, not because we’re, we’re late not because of anything other than we didn’t stop and take the time out to get the understanding. You know, this is something I literally have just learned in marriage counseling. For the longest time, I thought that my husband was seeking constant agreement, when he was literally just seeking constant understanding, the most important thing that you can do to any person on the face of this earth is to understand them. But that also includes yourself. So if you are unsure of what your magic is, just take some time out journal, you know what I mean? Even if you don’t have a lot of time I get it. We have little kids, we have school, we have work, we have all the things, start to journal, start to write down ideas that you have, and then start to seek the common thread. But anything that makes you light up has everything to do with your magic. And every single one of us has light, which is why all of us have magic. And I talked about this yesterday, actually at the conference I was speaking at is that a lot of times, we don’t give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, especially women. And I think the thing you have to realize is that you have a light, and you have permission to shine. And that I thought I think it was interesting to me that when I was doing my research, I was like, Oh, the first thing that God created this, like, the first thing that God created was like, right. And I was like, oh, so when he creates each of us, I imagine that’s the first thing that he creates in each of us. And our job is to find out how our light is a sign for us to shine and whatever capabilities right? Whether you’re somebody who is vegan, and you make incredible vegan food, and you get people excited about eating more plant based, whether you get excited about or whether you’re supposed to shine in a way that gets people excited about being an independent business owner, or whether you’re somebody who gets people excited about, you know, smartphones, there’s no wrong answer here. But anything that literally makes you feel like you’re lighting up has everything to do with your assignment. And your assignment is magic. There’s no question about it. And so it’s really important, it’s really important, even like I was just telling the story, figuring out that common thread, right? When I was telling my story, what I understood was that I was okay with moving forward, I was okay with continuing with going and I was going to shine my light, whether I was an intern, I was going to shine my light, whether I was in New York City, I was going to shine my light, whether it was in Atlanta, but your job is to continuously find and seek things that make you shine your light because you are that you are literally light walking on this earth and is your job to shine. And anytime we live our lives, we operate in business and in life, we’re we’re shining our light, we’re giving other people permission to shine as well. And if you ask me a light, that shining bright essentially makes the world a better place. I’m okay with that sounding as cliche as it possibly sounds. But you and I can both you know, we can both say that the world would be a better place if we were all shining a lot more.
Natalie Franke
Yes, I agree. 110%. And speaking of shining, like one of the things I think a lot of business owners struggle with, and we I hear this all the time, you know, it’s just the amount of tasks that they feel like they have to take on in any given day, right? Like all of the work that goes into running a business, all the work that goes into leading a team, all the work that goes into strategizing and thinking beyond just the day to day tasks. I could just keep going and going and going. And I know that we spoke together at a conference a couple of weeks ago, in Nashville, Tennessee, and you know, we talked a lot about marketing. We talked a lot about like marketing strategy, the future of marketing, what’s emerging in the influencer space, what is you know, kind of changing in the landscape. I didn’t even touch on marketing and all of those first couple of sentences of things that are on on an independent business owners plate. And so I’m curious you know, you wear a lot of those hats you carry such an immense amount of responsibility on your shoulders at any given time. Like all of our listeners do. Any advice for navigating it when the days just feel so heavy, like when all of that just feels because I know it seems effortless like you and I were chatting it’s sunshine and yet I also know that when the cameras are off like you also have responsibilities immense once right when the business closes for the day. You’re you’re heading home not to relax and put your feet up in the tub. No, no you you are like headed home to raise some extraordinary children and have a partner and be committed in that partnership and take care of family members that you love and friends that you are there for you’re involved in your community locally. Like I could keep going. But my point is for all of us, sometimes that just feels like too much. Yeah, maybe I’m projecting a little here, y’all. Okay? Really, I’m asking for me. Sometimes that feels like too much. How do you push through anyway? And how do you keep going? And any advice or anything that you’re willing to share? Even if it’s just vulnerable and real? And I’m here for it. I’m welcoming it?
Mattie James
It’s such a good question. Because I don’t know anybody who doesn’t ever feel this way every once in a while, right? Because it can just be a lot. And I think you have to take a deep breath. Really, that’s like the first thing I always start with, because it’s like, Am I just getting enough oxygen? Or maybe I’m not, you know what I mean? So let me take a couple of deep breaths. And then let me start to figure out what I’m really actually to me, it’s usually like, whenever I feel like something is too much, I usually am feeling like, I’m not enough in some capacity. And then I need to understand where that came from. That’s really it right? So if I’m feeling like, for instance, right now, in my company, I am the sole content creator, everybody else does everything else, right? Everybody else either runs the community, they handle brand marketing and correspondence, or they handle operations. But right now, in my company, I’m the only content creator. And so what has been intense is being like, oh, my gosh, I feel like I’m the only one who was doing this. And you know, it’s just a lot, right. And a lot of it really was, you don’t think you can get this done. And it’s like, and you don’t think you can get this done because you believe that you’re not organized enough, right? And you don’t believe you’re an N, you believe you’re unorganized? Because you’re not good at organization? And it’s like, Well, are you not good at organization? Or have you not taken the time out to organize? Because those are two different things, you know, because even if you’re not good at organization, who on your team because you have one, right? You’re I’m so fortunate enough to have that, who on your team is good at organization? And can you sit down with them and be like, hey, I really need help. Because I got to get this content out. As you guys know, we just talked about this in the team meeting, it doesn’t have to be a monologue, this doesn’t have to be a solo mission. Most of the missions that we’re on are not solo missions, but we’re trying to do it by ourselves, which is why it’s not working out for us. The other side of it could be that maybe you are organized, but you haven’t made time to do the organization part. You know, I tell people this all the time, whether you’re an analog person or digital person, you have got to write things down. It is literally something I write in the book, because I’m like, close the tabs in your head. Because anytime we leave tabs open, we leave space for overwhelm. Your job is to close the tabs in your head. So you’re really just thinking about what is in front of you. Anytime we are overwhelmed, we are likely romanticizing the past, right? Or we’re dreaming and hoping for the future. And I think there’s a time and place for that. But once we start doing that in the constant, and we’re not taking the time to be present, then we really have to stop and say, Okay, why am I holding on to something in the past? Or why am I thinking about something in the future? What am I projecting on myself thinking that I’m not enough for, because that’s usually where it comes from, you feel like you have so much going on, and that you’re not enough for it to handle. And it’s like, you’re right, you need to ask your coworker, you need to ask your assistant, you need to ask your partner, you need to ask your kids, if they can actually, you know, load the dishwasher. You know what I mean? While you finish your dinner, and whenever I have been honest with myself about that, and that that requires an explicit honesty that isn’t always comfortable. But a lot of times it’s freeing because it’s like, I’m actually not bad at this, I just actually don’t have to do it by myself, because I don’t have the capacity to but also I’m not supposed to. There’s very, very few things that we’re supposed to be doing on our own, like outside of like, therapy and self care, like everything really could be and should be a collaboration. And I really do believe that and as I get older, deeper into my marriage deeper in parenthood and motherhood deeper into entrepreneurship, I fully wholeheartedly believe that
Natalie Franke
community is critical. It is a foundation from which we succeed and we grow. I completely agree. And I’m curious, like in your journey, I mean, you really you’ve worn so many hats, you’ve you’ve taken on so many different projects. And now you’re at this place where you know you’ve again, you are a success, you have made such an incredible successful business and life for yourself. If you want to go back to the Maddy, who was telling her parents telling her dad that she was going to leave College and was facing a lot of fear, probably feeling the weight of some judgment from somebody you respect immensely and want to be proud of you, right? You’re going through that moment in your life, if you were to go back and talk to her, what would you tell her? What would you say to her on that, that precipice of taking that big leap and doing something that that scares her,
Mattie James
I would tell her that your belief in yourself is huge, and it’s going to help you become the woman you’ve always wanted to be. And that dad, not only is going to be proud of you, he’s going to be the first person to read and finish your book and to tell other people about it. Like, it’s so funny how immensely proud of me he is, because he’s just really such a traditional West African dad, like, if you’re not a doctor, or a lawyer, like in our community, it’s like, what is the point? I think, for me, it has been really huge, because I own you know, when you’re that young, I think, you know, the beauty of being in your 20s is that you have just like this, this blind courage, this blind bravery. And so I was just like, Well, no, I know, it’s gonna work out for me, I know, it’s gonna work out for me. And as you get older, and as you get more logical, you lose more and more of that. And so honestly, even though I would have a lot of advice and tidbits for her, I certainly would love to see her now, so she can rub off some of her courage on me. Because I think sometimes, too, you have that energy, because I didn’t have kids, I didn’t have a mortgage. I didn’t have all these other things that I have going on now. Will that make me kind of reconsider, like, Okay, should I take this risk? You know, what I mean? Like, how will it affect my family or whatnot. But what I would let her know is that her tenacity is going to pay off her willingness to show up and do the work. And that’s really what it’s all about, right? Do you have a willingness to do the work, you know, yes, you are going to get tired. And yes, you should recognize when you need rest, when you need help, and when you should be still. But then also, again, make sure that you are in tune with the magic of your current season, and then go and do the work. That’s why the magic is so important, because it justifies the work. Because, you know, I love what the Rock says he’s like, everybody’s tired, but we all got to work. Everybody tired, we all got to work. So we just need a good reason to work. Because when we don’t have that reason, you know what I mean? It’s kind of like when you’re working out, uh, you know, you have like three more reps and like your arms are shaking and stuff like that. But you’re like, you know what, I’m going to Bermuda in three weeks. And I know what my arms need to look like in this swimsuit. So I have a reason that’s part of the magic, right? That’s part of the magic. The magic just justifies the work because the work has to get done anyway.
Natalie Franke
Yes, and you so much that you said in there, one I want to highlight is, a couple of times, as you were retelling your story, you said, I knew it was going to work out, it’s going to work out for me, it’s going to work out. And I love that because I think you know, that is a mantra, even for anyone listening to this, like reminding yourself, it’s gonna work out for me, it’s gonna work out for me, just affirming that even if this particular thing doesn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that the journey isn’t going to it doesn’t mean that you aren’t stepping into the person that you’re becoming to do extraordinary things. It I could hear you reminding yourself over and over again, hey, if if this if not this path, it’s going to work out for me, it’s going to work out for me. And it. It’s such a powerful statement. So to take that away. Yes, absolutely. And then the meaningful aspect of that magic, like leaning into that, especially when things get hard, especially when you’re faced with, you know, unforeseen challenges in business or facing the criticism of folks that love you so fiercely, that they’re afraid for you, right? Which is so often a common thing where it’s like, yeah, where somebody might say like, Oh, don’t go do this thing. And it’s not because they don’t believe in you. It’s not because they don’t want to see you happy and successful. It’s because they love you oftentimes, so much and so deeply and so fiercely, that the thought of you failing shreds than to bet as a mom, I know this feeling Yes. With my loved ones. Like, I just want them to be happy to have joy and have success. And anytime I see one of my kids running towards like, you know, generally at this point, they’re toddlers, so it’s a physical, you know, threat to their safety. Like, you know, my especially my daughter, she has zero fear and so she’ll just climb things jump off things, and I, I feel a pit in my stomach and I’m gasping for air and I realize I can’t stop her from doing those things. Right? And for leaping into the unknown, even if I know she’s gonna skin her knees or I worry that she will Yes, because there’s also the possibility that she won’t, and that she’ll catch her balance and that she will keep running.
Mattie James
Yep, yep. Because also how do you learn balance without leaping? There’s I don’t know. Anyway, Also, the other thing that we were talking about yesterday is that, um, like also, what lesson do you learn that when you’re only told it once, you have to go through something, you know, repeatedly to really get it, you know what I mean? Like even thinking about the, the concept of riding your bike and learning how to ride your bike without training wheels, you had to fall so many times, but again, you were just so dedicated least I was, I remember being six years old, in Huntsville, Alabama, learning how to ride my bike without training wheels in our apartment complex, and just how many times I fell down, you know what I mean? And I’m pretty sure I skinned my knee. But I was like, regardless of that pain, I still want to know how to ride my bike. And now it’s a skill that I have forever, right? You know, so it’s like, also extend yourself grace, like, just because you didn’t get something the first time doesn’t mean again, that you’re bad, or that you’re stupid, or that, you know, you’re, you know that something is wrong with you, right. And that’s, that’s always what’s so fascinating to me that as human beings, we have this tendency to automatically assume that something is wrong with us, when there is so much right with you, and you miss out because you want to focus on what’s wrong with you. And it’s like people are literally dreaming to be in the position that you’re in, you’re not I mean, to have the the access that you have to have the position that you have to have the mindset that you have. But we get caught up and like a one or two things that are different from a friend of ours or a colleague of ours or somebody that we admire. And it’s like, I want you to focus on what is right with you, and then blow that out of the water, right that to the wheels fall off. Because that’s really what we’re all doing. None of us, none of us are perfect, right? All of us are magic. And the people who decide to focus on their magic are the people who win. And I talk about this all the time, when I was talking to my sister about this, who’s also an entrepreneur who just blows me out of the water, she teaches people about finding their messaging and getting clear on their messaging. And the reason why she’s so good at that is because she has the ability, because she’s confident herself for you to tap into your confidence and operate your messaging out of that, if you got crazy. And for a year, you just operated every day at a high confidence where you’re like, I’m magic, even if I don’t have X, Y and Z I imagined and you just operate from that, not only would your business change, your life would change. So it’s like stop defaulting to what’s wrong default to what’s right. You and then use what’s right to be a solution to what you deem, quote unquote, what’s wrong, or just run with what’s right. You’re not I mean, we’ve got to shift our mindset mindset literally will make or break your magic.
Natalie Franke
Wow, this has been such an incredible episode, I am going to replay this one every time I need encouragement and to feel pumped up and fired up. I always close out the podcast by asking a question and I feel like I might know your answer to this one. But nonetheless, we’re going to ask it anyway, this is a podcast about the science of self made success. And so I want to know, what do you think is the biggest thing that differentiates the businesses that succeed from those that fail,
Mattie James
they never gave up? They never gave up. Anybody can give up. Anybody can give up. But the people who say okay, you know, I might, I might have missed the mark here. But I’m going to still show up. I’m going to show up, even though I looked stupid in front of some people last month, when you know, my email went out. And I didn’t actually put in the names of people. And it just said, you know, first name, I’m going to show up, even though packages showed up to people’s houses late and I told them that they were going to get their products. This time. I’m going to show up, even though I didn’t get selected in this list that I wanted to be a part of, I’m going to show up, you just have to keep on showing up. Again, there are so many reasons why you shouldn’t but the people who keep on going, they are the people who win. They are the people who win. And I mean, and you can see this in so many different examples, in music, in sports, in movies, certainly in business, but in life, the people who keep showing up, not only for themselves, but they show up because they know that their gifting their light their magic is to give other people permission to show up in their gifting their light and their magic as well. That is what will never fail. That is what will never lose. Because when you start to show up out of service for others, and not just to please yourself. It’s really impossible to win and I really truly believe that the brands and the companies and businesses who decide to do that they are the ones who break through the noise To make a real difference,
Natalie Franke
joy and service is such a key core value for me and I love love the conclusion there. That is fantastic Mattie, I have no doubt our listeners are going to want to know more about you want to find you on the internet in all spaces. Also I would love for you to share more about your community that you have and your book everyday magic. So where can our listeners find you?
Mattie James
Okay, so you can get the book everyday magic anywhere where books are sold, but you can certainly find it on Amazon please please grab yourself a copy. I think it’s one of those books that you can reference over and over and over again. You can follow me at the Matty James on social that’s th e ma tt i e j A mes and you can follow my organization boss fluence at B O S. S fluence. We have a free private Facebook group, such a dynamic group in there. We’re super, super encouraging. And of course you can check me up on my website Matty james.com.
Natalie Franke
And as always, as links will be available in the show notes. And we are buying a bunch of copies of Mattie’s book to give away as well. It is amazing. I’ve read it. It’s phenomenal. So I can’t wait for all of you to dig in and keep this conversation going in the pages of her book everyday magic Maddy, thank you so much for joining us.
Mattie James
Thank you so much Natalie for having me.
Natalie Franke
That ends our episode of The Independent Business Podcast. Everything that we’ve discussed today can be [email protected]. Head to our website for access to show notes, relevant links and all of the resources that you need to level up. And if you’ve enjoyed today’s episode, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so that you never miss our future content. Drop us a review and leave our guests some love on social. Thanks again for listening.
